Clayton Faulalo
Turbo may be fucked, but the plays designed for him are still going strong, because this salty sea eagle has been tearing it up in his absence. Souths have been scored on by opposition Fullbacks in more games than any other position, and them already dipping well into their CTW reserves doesn’t exactly strengthen the case against Clayton. The Bunnies have also given up the last try to Fullbacks in three of their last ten games, so get on that if you’re feeling spicy, puntlords.
Alex Johnston
Yeah, hot of the presses cunt, how’s this for a scoop? The bloke who has scored in every single game this year is probably going to score again this week. This is why you come to me, mortals, because of my guru-like powers that allow me to see things in the ether that you couldn’t even comprehend. But for real though, I don’t listen to any other Rugby League pundits like you probably do, but it wouldn’t shock me to learn that there are some out there being little contrarian fuckbabies about Alex Johnston keeping this train running for another week. If there are cunts out there spouting that shit, I genuinely get where they are coming from, given that Manly have only conceded two tries to left wingers in the whole Foran-Era so far. Easy enough to see how that would make some mouth-breathers screech about AJs chances this week, but I dug a little deeper for you my Degenerates, and that’s because I really care about you, and what I have found out is this: Fuck those nerds, this cunt just simply doesn’t give a fuck about your team’s defence. If I go through my data and have a look at every team’s tries against column for left wingers, it’s easy to see at a glance which teams are brutal against them, because they are mostly empty, except for one or two rogue squares. In every single fucking instance, that rogue square is Alex Johnston. THIS IS BECAUSE HE HAS SCORED EVERY FUCKING WEEK. Manly have conceded 11 tries to right wingers, and it’s STILL more likely that AJ gets in over Ed Kosi. Just ride it until the wheels fall off… If that is this week, it doesn’t make you a dumb cunt for getting on it with the amount of data backing it up.
Lehi Hopoate
This cunt scored for 7 straight games before putting up a goose egg last week, however that can be expected without Tolu Koula next to him just generally being a fucking baller, but he is back this week, and that puts Lehi through the fuckin roof here. While Souths have been pretty stingy to opposition centres all year, every team’s most prolific winger has still scored against them regardless. The Bunnies have also conceded the first try to a left winger once in the last couple of games, which is funny, because Lehi happens to have scored it once in the last couple of games.
Tallis Duncan
Manly had the absolute gronk put on them last week by Benchwarmin’ Billy Burns, signalling to the league that their left side is open for business. The Bunnies are likely to find success too, since the combination of Euan Aitken and Tallis Duncan have already banged in 7 tries over on that edge.
Jake Simpkin/Brandon Wakeham
Souths have had their shit rocked by Hookers for the last two games in a row. Simpkin is listed as starter and Wakeham on the bench, but Keiran Foran can’t claim to be a real NRL coach until he pulls the ol’ switcheroo on us on gameday and these cunts are likely candidates for that sort of fuckery. So just pick one or both if you’re a piece of shit, or simply stay away from this one if you’re a somewhat normal human being.
Reuben Garrick/Jason Saab
Up until the last few games, when the Bunnies starting CTWs started dropping like flies, they were actually hostile as fuck to their opposition numbers defensively. In case you don’t believe me, and I don’t know why you wouldn’t (You came here for advice fuckhead) then tell me; If that ain’t true, how come they have given up MORE tries to CTW players in the last FOUR games than they did in the previous FUCKING SEVEN? It wouldn’t surprise me if all four of Manly’s CTWs got in at some point, but Souths have been hammered up the right for 4 tries in their last 3 matchups, so they will probably take a run at Fake-Trell off the rip. Wouldn’t you?
Cody Walker
Teams who haven’t managed to find success against Manly’s harsh CTW defence have turned to their 5/8s to get the job done in 3 of the last 6 games. In the absence of Trell, it’s not at all out of the realm of possibility for Walker to step up on the left edge, but it’s still as rough as a Polish massage.