Casey McClean
I sincerely hope Queenslanders have nightmares of this fuckin rabid ferrett rolling all over them and slinking all through their defensive line. I hope they wake up in a cold sweat every night until the teamlist for game 2 drops, but until then, Casey should continue being a fuckin handful for everyone during the regular season. As for the Tigers, KL Iro beat the fuckin brakes of these cunts just four games ago, crossing the stripe three times. Tolu Koula dunked on them less than four minutes into their game just two weeks ago. I think it’s very likely Casey and those other two will have enough members to form the “Fuck the Tigers in Particular” Club for exceptional left centres by the end of this one.
Tom Jenkins
Standard… Oi, but on a side note: While I understand Bizza is a seasoned veteran of big games, I reckon it’s time we collectively admit he’s lost a step. The Panthers have never gone two games this season without someone getting a try past To’o. Jenkins has scored 18 fuckin tries and has been responsible for letting in just ONE. What the fuck is it going to take for Laurie Daley to learn that this new crop of huge rugby league super-freak country boys are a natural genetic defence mechanism against QLDers? Any child that was born in NSW during the QLD occupation of NSW was born out of our hatred of Queenslanders, and thus possess an inherent ability that when unlocked, will serve to annihilate them off the map completely (figuratively speaking, settle down ya fuckin bogan).
Jeral Skelton
The cool thing about the Panthers this year is they have a definitive weak point. They have been absolutely gronked (comparatively) by left wingers all year. Even complete plodders like the Sharks and Dragons left wingers have scored against these cunts. Not that the Tigers left wing can be considered amongst those turds, since that is precisely where they have scored the most tries, so that’s a happy coincidence. Skeletor is a huge cunt too, so it’s not hard to imagine him steamrolling Brian To’o if he gets the right ball thrown his way.
Dylan Edwards
Fullbacks have put the hammer down on the Tigers in five of their last seven matchups, including the last three straight games. Four games without scoring is an unusually dry spell for Dylbo, so the field is wide open for a return to form for the Panthers’ ass-man. Hey may not have scored for four weeks, but he scored the first try in the two games prior, and fullbacks have done it twice already against the Tigers, so there’s that to consider, ratbags.
Jahream Bula
Penrith have been rocked by fullbacks twice in the last three games. They actually give them up with the second most regularity to fullbacks after left wingers. Another happy coincidence is that the Fullback position is where the Tigers score tries from with the second most regularity after left wing.
Brian To’o
The Tigers have conceded 6 tries in the last three games to right side wingers. Forget any of Bizza’s stats, that fuckin suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
Nathan Cleary/Blaize Talagi
The Tigers were completely shut to opposition halves of any kind up until the last four games when they have had 5 tries put through their middle by opposition Leg-men. These two jokers don’t need an excuse on any given week to rip one in, given that they have 9 combined tries so far, but you know that this one is personal, albeit in a good-natured way. They’ll probably both score tbh.
Liam Martin
KPP is pretty fuckin good defensively, and is likely to do enough to keep the Panthers left edge away from the chalk this week. However, it’s clear that Benji has placed Mavrik Geyer in front of former teammate Liam Martin intentionally, like as if he’s Scarlett Johansson on some “Sun’s gettin’ real low big guy” shit to hopefully try and tame him. Mavrik’s probably going to get his shit blown apart before you can even say “Liam Smash”.