Matt Burton/Stephen Crichton
Mate I have no fuckin idea what these cunts are doing ay. The Dogs have one of the best defensive 5/8s in the entire game, who is also capable of kicking a footy into the stratosphere, but yep, let’s put him in centre, why not. Yes I fucking saw the game last week cunt, but in the immortal words of Shaniah Twain “That don’t impress-a me much” fuckhead. Making this lineup change official after stringing together half a decent game with this configuration is some of the most desperate, straw clutching shit I have ever seen, and it’s probably going to be worse for the Dogs in the long run. Let me explain.
The Titans are so specifically wretched against opposition left centres and 5/8s that they have had an even distribution of 18 total tries shoved up their guts by them. It doesn’t really matter if Burton, Crichton, Xerri, or a talking horse called Furious Chad are playing in those positions, they are more than likely going to fucking slap the shit out of the Titans regardless. So dropping Xerri, who has actually been the better defensive centre for the dogs – to enable this fuckin madness of Critta at five-eighth and Burto at centre – is ultimately going to look like some big-brained, real life supercoach shit if either or both of those cunts manage to dump tries on the Titans, even though you, me and your nanna could fuckin score from these positions against them. Considering they are 2 of the only 4 blokes who actually score somewhat regularly for this raggedy bunch of dickheads, that seems pretty fuckin likely.
The issue here is that if the Bulldogs manage to smoke the Titans after making this lineup shift, there is a potential reality where they spend a week kissing themselves on the penis about this seemingly brilliant move that they made, only to get a severe reality check after the bye round when Simi Sassagi and Ethan Strange get the perfect chance to show them just what a stupid fuckin idea it really was.
Of course, the other reality is that Jayden Campbell finds the hole where Burto used to be this week and this experiment will be binned before halftime.
But yeah, TLDR; at least one of these cunts will probably score.
Phil Sami
Put bluntly; the Dogs are diabolicaly fucking disgusting against opposition left wingers. They have only faced two teams in their last 6 games who DIDN’T bag a double through their left wingers, and that’s probably because the Eels and Sharks left sides have scored fuck all this season anyway. Unfortunately for the Bulldogs, Philip has quietly been breaking off meaties for the last four straight games, so the Titans left side should be well up for this one. The Dogs have also given up the first or last try to a lefty a staggering 8 fucking times so far, and that’s not even including first opposition team try (that would make it 10). If you think that the newfound presence of Jacob Kiraz on the right side for the dogs will make a difference, then I would like to bring your attention to the fact that Manly’s left winger scored both the first AND last try last week like he wasn’t even fucking there.
Jethro Rinakama
I mean… Speaking of shithouse against left wingers, the Titans have their own fuckin problems here.
Kurt Morrin
If you haven’t gotten around any Titans games lately, you might have missed that Girth Morrin has been hanging absolute dick off the bench for several weeks now.
It gets even spicier this round too if you’re brave enough, or just a massive scumbag, because Kurt has actually scored the FIRST try for the Titans in two of the last three games, yes cunt, while starting on the bench. Canterbury’s second row being all fucked up and the fact that the Dogs struggle to score more than two tries in any given week suddenly makes Kurt a completely reasonable candidate for a number of zesty options, including 1st/2nd/3rd tryscorer, first Titans tryscorer and even First overall tryscorer, depending on how far gone you are and how much you love it, you piece of shit.
Jayden Campbell/Keano Kini
Playing against these cunts has to be like trying to catch a flan thrown at you from height. Why anyone would be chucking desert at you is your business chief, but you’re probably not getting a hand on that slippery little fucker nonetheless. The Bulldogs started out pretty strong defensively this year but have let their shit slide in the last 10 games, giving out 12 total tries to opposition fullbacks and 5/8s. Good news for Jayden and Keano, who have scored 4 tries between them in the last 3 games.