Lehi Hopoate
We all like to have a laugh here, Punters, it’s good for the soul. This week’s laugh comes at the expense of Braidon Burns. Here’s one for ya; Whadda ya get when you cross Braidon Burns with an opposition left winger…? 17 fuckin tries!!!…
Knock knock!
*Who’s there?*
Nine!
*Nine who?*
Nine fuckin tries in the last 6 games!
Hey did you hear about the right wing Cowboy who let in the first opposition try for the last three fucking games in a row? Yeah he’s called Braidon Burns.
Anyway, with Manly’s left winger scoring at least one try for their last 10/12 matches, including the first try in two of their last three, I see absolutely no reason for the laughter not to continue. Unless maybe if you’re a Cowboy’s fan, but then you wouldn’t be able to read this anyway.
Heilum Luki
This bloke may be an autocorrect nightmare but he sure can fuckin score a try, ay Punters. The Sea Eagles’ normally squeaky clean edge defence has been humbled for 4 tries in their last 5 matches (a huge change from the fuckin two they gave up in their first 11), and this fuckin sick cunt has not gone more than a week without scoring a try since fuckin round 3 or some shit. He’s hungry too, because homie didn’t score last week. It’s worth mentioning that he almost goes out of his way to put the full stop on every game, managing to successfully close out four games so far among a sea of late-game tries. He’s done it first for the cows on two occasions, which is doable since right edge runners are an obvious sore spot for Manly recently, so he’s probably the best candidate here for first or last try overall.
Jason Saab/Reuben Garrick
Oi, Murray Taulagi can score a try but his defence is pretty fuckin bad ay. Right side CTW players have scored the first try against the Cows three times each this season and scored a combined 8 tries on them in their last six games. Lehi is probably the strongest option considering Manly’s preferred early attack, but the Cowboys are pretty shit against either side wing, so one of these cunts also has a decent shot of an early game try.
Jake Clifford/Jaxon Purdue
Manly have been touched up for 5 tries to halves in their last 6 games. Halves have also scored the first or last try against the Sea Eagles 3 times in that period, which is something the Cowboys middle managers have done 5 times so far.
Joey Walsh
Have you seen him? Fkn Gun.