Lachlan Galvin
Yeah look, I’m not gonna put too much effort into this writeup, because fuck the Canterbury-Bankstown Bullshit, that’s why. They’re disruptive as fuck when I don’t want them to be and disappointing when I do; they are a Punter’s fucking nightmare, let me tell ya. So that being said, take all of this with a grain of salt, or maybe just take the whole shaker, cunt. Let’s pretend for a minute that the Bulldogs are a normal, reasonable team who actually turn up every week and score tries against other teams’ weak points: This cunt should fucking eat the Panthers alive. Galvatron has popped off twice in the last three games, but holy fucking christ do Penrith fuckin stink against opposition halfbacks. Turns out these cunts are human after all since halfbacks have faced little to no resistance at all from them in recent weeks, absolutely pegging them for 6 tries in their last 5 matches. Even more disgustingly, five of those were also the first or last opposition try.
Tom Jenkins
Yeah these cunts have had 23 fucking tries unloaded on their face, neck and chest by left wingers. They have also put the first or last try on the Dogs a fucking unbelievable 13 times this season. Jenkins has scored about 700 tries so far this year. This is why you come here folks, red hot fuckin analysis.
Enari Tuala/Bronson Xerri
Right, so Penrith’s other sore spot in 2026 is unquestionably their right wing, since they have had 18 tries put there by left CTW players, including 9 first opposition tries. Great news for the Dogs, because their left side CTW has been their most successful so far with 19 tries combined.
Casey McClean/Brian To’o
If not for Bizza’s round 25 hat trick, him and Casey have basically done fuck all for the last 6 weeks or so. To be fair to McClean, he has spent some time on the sidelines with injuries, so good for him, because the Dogs have had 5 fuckin tries put on them by left centres and right wingers in just the last two games.
Dylan Edwards
Yeah, fuck it, why not. Might as well get on Cleary too if you’re a complete irredeemable scumbag.