Oi cunt. Yeah you fuckhead, come here a minute, I wanna tell you something… Did you know that these cunts have gone absolutely apeshit at each other for a total of 23 tries in just two games this year? That is more tries than the Tigers scored in the last 10 fucking rounds, solely scored by these cunts against each other in 2026. That fact actually makes this writeup I am doing right now exceedingly difficult as every time I try to look at the data, my eyes keep morphing into dollar signs with an annoying “CHA-CHING” sound effect while steam spews from my ears on some 1940s cartoon wolf bullshit.
What I’m trying to say here is that it’s probably unreasonable to expect this one to be a powerhouse defensive exhibition, and that’s good. Everybody likes this. See while you would usually be a fuckin idiot to bet on 5-6 players to score in the same game, you’d be a fuckin idiot not to in this case given both teams are currently rolling with an average tries scored of over 5 per game across the arse end of this season (6.1 for the Bunnies btw cunts! Massive!). There should be plenty of Steedens slapped across the chalk here, particularly for Souths, who have amassed 28 fuckin tries in their last four games, and have three separate positions who have scored in both games against the Knights this year. The players in those positions this week are Alex Johnston, Latrell Mitchell and David Fifita, but it should be mentioned that Tallis Duncan has shit on these cunts from two separate positions so far (Right Second Row, Left Centre) and now finds himself facing the Knights’ fucked forward pack from the left edge runner position.
Not that it’s their fault, but the timing couldn’t be more inconvenient for Newcastle to be trotting out a forward unit held together by duct tape and dreams. While the talent combined in their wings and spine is usually enough to keep Newy competitive against any team, the damage about to be done by the Rabbitohs frontmen – who have scored 7 tries in the last two games – may just be too much for the Knights to handle.
That isn’t to say Newy won’t get theirs. They haven’t scored less than 4 tries in a game for the last 8 fuckin straight rounds so it would be nothing short of a miracle for Souths to shut them out. There hasn’t been a game in the last 10 straight weeks where a Fullback or left CTW player hasn’t scored at least one try against Souths, which is handy for Newcastle since there hasn’t been a game in the last 11 straight weeks where their Fullback or left CTW hasn’t scored.
Anyway you wanna go with this one should be fine Punters, there’s bound to be a fair few tries to go around here so take your pick. The rest of this weekend’s games will most certainly not be this forgiving.