PUNTER BEWARE: Much like the last one of these origin bye rounds, everything is a degenerate bet this week, because most teams can’t be expected to function as normal with so many lineup changes. This one however, is particularly spicy. This will be the inaugural Jaiarrowbowl, where both clubs pay respects to their recently retired former teammate and his current medical battles, by lining up and beating the absolute dogshit out of each other. The Bunnies surely have the edge for numerous reasons, for example the fact that Jai is currently a member of the South Sydney Rabbitohs, they are wearing white (making them the good guys) and Wayne Bennett is facing his former dynasty club, currently being coached by a total fucking NPC. I can’t see them not running away with this one, but the holes in their lineup still leave the window open for the Broncos to sneak at least a couple of tries in. But hey, who knows, maybe evil will triumph, but not without a fuckin fight, my degenerates. Either way, you have been warned.
Alex Johnston
The Broncos defence against left wingers is the true duality of man. In their first 8 games this year, they conceded just one try to opposition Larries, which is pretty fuckin staunch. To be fair they only conceded one to opposition Ronnies as well, just quietly. Anyway, the dream seems to be well and truly over, because they’ve had 4 knocked through their left wing in their last 5 games, including from the high-powered heavy hitters over at the Dragons and Titans. Now, with that said, here is the argument in favour of Alex Johnston: He has scored the most fucking tries out of anyone in the NRL ever in the history of the whole fuckin game. How about that champion? Righto, off ya fuck.
Cody Walker
In a very similar story to the above scenario, The Groncos gave up just one try to opposition halves in their first 7 games and have since gone on to have their fuckin shit rocked for 9 tries in their last 6. Usually it’s the team’s more prolific try-scoring half who has been getting stuck into their tryline, so that’s why Cody Walker gets the edge here, but honestly if you’re a total piece of shit it’s worth a smack in the mouth on Ashton Ward.
Grant Anderson
This pick actually has fuck all to do with Granderson’s abilities as a centre, just FYI cunters. Being a Storm supporter, I’ve been exposed to a fair amount of Grant in my time, and I can say with the utmost confidence that; yeah, he’s alright I guess. The reasoning for this has more to do with the Rabbitohs’ defence. They have a terrifyingly efficient distribution of their tries conceded to CTWs, giving up just 7 to each wing and 7 combined to centres. That sounds like some shit hot defence against centres, but where it starts to look very unsexy is that four of those seven tries have happened in their last four games, as it happens, since Real Trell was replaced with Fake Trell, and Wighton replaced with a revolving lineup of players this week seemingly settling on Tallis Duncan. Anderson will be trying to impress after being cucked all year by one of the worst defenders in the League, and he already burrowed one in last week after getting the start. He may have even been held out of the Broncos starting team just enough this year to not have the stink of complete fuckin loser all over him.
David Fifita
If you think this week’s analysis seems very Bunnies heavy, you’d be absolutely correct. That isn’t at all an indictment of Brisbane’s defence, particularly not against opposition edge runners – They’ve actually only conceded one try to em in the last 7 games – it just seems like they may have one too many outs this week, either due to rep duties or just stood down for being shit, to prevent a full onslaught from the Bunnies. Souths have scored 8 tries through their right edge, including the one Fifi ran in immediately upon returning from injury last week. Even if Souths don’t run away with this one, they should at least strike through all their regular spots nice and early, and that most certainly includes Davo.
Jye Gray
Brisbane’s defence against fullbacks is suss as fuck even with a full team lineup. They have already given up 8 tries to way-backs so far, and this little fuckin marsupial has got a bit of catching up to do after his stint on the sideline this year.
Jesse Arthars
Since the Rabbitohs have an identical record on both wings for tries conceded, the best play would probably be to get on the Broncos’ usual suspects, of which there are disgustingly few this season. The most usual of their suspects this week is Jesse, since they have scored 7 tries through their right winger in the last 9 games. Karapani’s output has been less than impressive over on the left, so I’m staying away from that side. I mean, that and the fact that Ed Kosi is fuckin massive. Seriously, have you seen the bloke?? Fuck that, if I’m Josiah, I’m staying mediocre for another week.
Latrell Siegwalt/Tallis Duncan
Now that we know the Groncs defence against wingers has been pretty impressive up until the last four weeks or so, I feel it pertinent to mention that they have been ripped to fuckin shreds by opposition centres for 15 tries so far. 9 of them have been put through by right centres, simply because that’s not where Kotoni Staggs is. Unfortunately for the Broncos, Kotoni Staggs isn’t on either side this week, so the door is wide open for these two cunts.