AKP/DWZ
These cunts have fuckin hit the 2+ combined line in 7 of their last 8 games. Get fucked ay. Unfortunately for the Sharks, they’ve fuckin given this line up to opposition wingers in 7 games this season, including the hat trick Dallin put on them last time around. Opposition wingers have also scored the first try against the Sharks three times, also including Dallin and his fuckin hat trick. The Wahs’ wingers have also scored the first try two times each this season, Alofiana is yet to score the last try in a game, but it’s Dallin and his glorious mullet who have dropped the mic four fuckin times already this season. The only thing that worries me is Sione Katoa lurking in the Sharks reserves. If Stonestreet gets hooked in favour of Sione, I reckon Cronulla might be gearing up for a historical defensive effort against opposition wingers to try and prevent the destruction these two are capable of. So just keep an eye on it Punters.
Ronaldo Mulitalo
The Wah’s outside back defence is good as fuck Punters, but has had frustratingly little patterns to go off for a hard-analyzing battler like myself. Thankfully in recent weeks a nice little pocket seems to be forming on their left side after conceding 6 tries to right wingers in their last 6 games. What is important to note about that is the amount of tries they had conceded to right wingers prior to that was zero. Ronaldo has already knocked in five in his last four games. It’s just science cunts.
Te Maire Martin
Halfbacks are one of the more regular positions to get over the Sharks, scoring 5 tries on them in their last 7 games. Te Maire has looked like a fuckin rabid ferrett since making an unexpected return to the starting side after Boyd was ruled out for the season. He’s scored 3 tries in their last three matches and there’s no reason not to think he won’t go completely fuckin mental here.
KL Iro
I’m really not bullshitting about the Wahs having a fucking tremendous defence. Literally the most tries they have given up to any position is 6. Fucking 6 tries. Anyway, since Ronaldo Mulitalo has that position covered this week, I guess we can move on to who has scored 5 against them, and that is opposition left centres. Iro has already scored against them this year, so yeah… Like I guess he could probably do it again?… Probably.
Erin Clark
Righto cookers, get the tinfoil hats on, because this one is a bit flat-earth. Regardless of the fact that Clark already barged over against these cunts a few weeks ago, the Warriors just have a weird pattern that has persisted for the entire season so far. The pattern is this: Whenever the Wah’s right edge runner has gone over for a try, Erin has scored in the very next game in every single fucking instance this season. Never have they scored in the same week. If their right edge runner skips a week and doesn’t score, so does Erin, but the very next game that they score, big Clark goes over the next week like clockwork. So guess who scored a try last week cunts? Go on, have a guess…
Teig Wilton/Billy Burns
I wouldn’t recommend edge runners to get past the Warriors on most weeks, but this isn’t most weeks cunts. Both sides of their second row got in against them last time, and the Sharks edge forwards have scored 12 fucking tries this year, and yes, that is more than their wingers. Add to this the fact that the Wahs have lost a host of starting forwards and we should be fuckin on up front here for the Sharks.