Reece Walsh
The cool thing about the Newcastle Knights is that they have three very obvious weak points and that makes the whole analysis thing pretty fuckin cruisy. Anyway, I bring you the players facing those weak points this week Cunters, starting with this feathered-eyebrowed little fucker. The Knights are looking pretty fucked against opposition fullbacks, getting reamed for 4 tries in their last two matches, including being force-fed a triple Bondi burger from Teddy last week. Walsh has been unusually quiet this season, but has still somehow managed to score the first try more than any other position, and if the Broncos have any hope at all of not being shit this week, it will be because this serial try-scoring pest decided to turn up.
Dom Young
The Broncos have had their shit handed to them for 9 tries in their last 8 games to opposition right wingers. This cunt’s pulled like 16 tries out of his dickhole this season. What else do you want from me here?
Grant Anderson
While the Brisbane Bumholes have been as disappointing as a bag of shrivelled dicks this year, there is at least some hope this week, simply because the Knights’ defence against right wingers is the only thing more dogshit than their own in this matchup. The Broncos right wing hasn’t exactly been productive in their last 6 games, scoring just 2 tries, but then Granderson is not Deine Mariner. Could be a refreshing move for Brisbane’s outside backs.
Fletcher Sharpe/Sandon Smith
Yo, Brisbane are fuckin diabolical against opposition halves, Cunts, let me tell ya. Basically there has been one game in the last 11 that they haven’t been scored on by at least one halfback or 5/8th. Nasty fuckin business, especially going up against the mullet and his mate here.
Jordan Riki
While the Knights have a completely clean sheet against opposition left edge runners, righties have taken them for 7 tries so far, and three of those have been first tries. This cunt has gotten the party started in the last couple of rounds, so it’s definitely on the menu again here.
Greg Marzhew
Gregatron has only scored in one of the last 6 Knights outings, but these cunts have surrendered 7 fucking tries in that same window to left wingers, and I suppose he has scored 17 fuckin tries or something already…