Tom Jenkins
“UUUUuuuuhhhhh, the cunt with 26 tries will probably score again” – Fucking top tier analysis. That’s why you come to me for this shit, Cunts. Deep insight.
Brian To’o/Casey McClean
The Raiders have surrendered 22 tries to these two positions so far. Funnily enough, that’s just one more try than these two cunts have scored. It’s nice when shit lines up like that.
Liam Martin
The Raiders have been hit in half of their last 6 games by right side edge runners, and you have to think that number is in danger of increasing due to their forward pack being all fucked up with Hudson Young out for the forseeable future. Penrith have scored just as many through their right 2RF in the same period.
Jack Cogger/Nathan Cleary
The Panthers halves have scored 10 combined tries so far this season, which is above average but still nothing to get too excited about. Where it does get a bit enticing though is the fact that the Raiders are fucking garbage against opposition halves. They’ve had 16 tries put on them so far by halfbacks and 5/8s, with the latter scoring the first or last try against the Green Machine 5 times so far.
Jed Stuart
This is it Punters, the only non-dicey option for tries against Penrith; Opposition left wingers. No other position on the field has managed to put more than 5 tries on the Panthers all fucking season, yet there has only actually been 7 games this year in which a leftie didn’t pull down their pants and smack their bare bottoms. Time will tell if Jed is one of the good Neppo babies like Emilio Estevez, or one of the rotten ones like Charlie Sheen. And by “Time Will Tell”, I specifically mean whether or not he fucking scores here and doesn’t make me look like a dickhead.